Father's House Blog

My childhood was one of verbal and sometimes physical abuse; if I was frightened and cried then I would be "given something to cry for". There was always a lot of anger and quarrelling between my parents. Often threats were made to leave each other and part of the fear in my childhood was that one day I would come home from school and one or both of my parents would be missing.
 
I was born again and baptised in the Spirit in the 1970's. The years passed and I was comfortable with knowing Jesus but the word "Father" had connotations that I could not and did not relate to.
 
Last year our pastor put on a three day event called "The Father Heart Conference". One of the seminars was about the Prodigal Son and Kevin Peats, one of the speakers, asked those who would like to experience the Father’s embrace to come forward. My pastor started to whisper words of the Father’s love towards me and as he did something changed. The arms around me were no longer his. I felt another pair of arms around me and another voice. The voice said, "This is what my love feels like. There is no need to be afraid; I am not going to hurt you".
 
Months later I went to the School of Prophecy in Toronto. On the first Sunday before the school commenced I arrived early at the church and walked into the auditorium. As I walked in I was suddenly engulfed by this "Being". I felt as if I had stepped into the inside of a very warm personality and I heard a voice quietly saying "I have been waiting for you".  I was not afraid because total unconditional love and acceptance flowed into me and around me. I was completely stunned and unable to move or speak. It took a few minutes to get to a chair where I just sat in a state of shock. This Presence stayed with me, surrounding me and filling me for the next ten days I was in Toronto. I felt quiet and totally complete. The "Presence" was my Dad.

When I came home I was sad because I thought His Presence would become less real. In a sense it is different but I know His Presence is always with me even though I do not feel it always in the same way. Sometimes in the early hours of the morning I sing to Him and tell Him He is a good Dad and I love Him to bits! Sometimes in my room I am covered in gold dust or rain. Since I am in my bedroom it can only come from Him. My Pastor and friends have told me I have changed. It is impossible not to change when I now have the security and love of my Dad. I will never be the same again. I love Him more than anyone else and He loves me.  Nothing else matters. I no longer worry about what people think of me, HE LOVES ME, so who cares when people think I am slightly potty because of my beliefs or anything else.
 
I am at present reading a book called "The Father you've been waiting for" by Mark Stibbe. I've met my Dad and this book is helping me to learn what a perfect Dad is. I commend it to you.
 
I have written this poem which expresses just a little of what is going on in my life.................
 
IN MY FATHER'S PRESENCE
 
So close - I can hear Your every heart beat
So close - I can hear the whisper of my name
So close - Your arms embrace, enfold me.
Your love is always the same.
And when this world crowds in around me
When sin and evil seem to reign
I draw aside into the stillness of Your Presence
And my spirit is made whole again
So close - Your perfect love surrounds me
So close - my every need You meet
So close - nothing else is needed
And I rest in adoration at Your feet
 
 
My love and prayers to you
 
Doreen